The animals were safely secured for the ride--
we were allowed to feed them through the slats
4 hand-picked pumpkins plus hayride: $16
(eat your heart out Bakersfield)
***WARNING***
Due to the graphic and repulsive nature of the following information,
those who are pregnant or who have weak stomachs, STOP reading NOW. right now.
*******************************
What may appear to have been a lovely day at the pumpkin patch might very well have been the most disgusting day of my life, no I've had ONE worse, but you will not believe what you are about to read!
Jaden requested my assistance in the port-a-potty because of the nature of the number he had to do there (my sister is dying right now that I'm posting this). So in we go--already this is not a pretty picture is it? Well, it gets worse, much worse. Is there anything more disgusting than your bum lingering above all that mess.........YES!!!!! Your $150 sunglasses falling into it as you're leaning over it to wipe said son's behind!
This is where I recommend you NEVER buy expensive sunglasses because it's not worth ever having to worry about rescuing them in this situation or one like it!!
You can imagine the scene, as if in slow motion, I begin fumbling them in attempt to save them from utter disaster...to no avail. I reluctantly open my eyes to face the dreadful sight before me............
Somehow they avoided Jaden's fresh creation, which I could clearly see sitting atop mounds of toilet paper
and I could see a hint of silver glistening just below the surface of the water (it was blue so I was slightly reassured). Then, before I could even contemplate what I was about to do but also fearful that if I didn't act NOW they could sink further and further down into the depths of, well....you know, I reached my hand down and grabbed them and them alone--no stragglers attached--whew!
As I pull them out, the disgust of what I've just done overcomes me and I run out in search of the nearest water as Jaden calls, "Did they land in the poop?" "NO!" "Oh, Thank Heavens!" was his reply.
Water was nearby but no soap so we make a bee-line for the petting zoo where I saturate both my hands and the glasses in the liquid hand soap PLUS sanitizer. Here's the part where you'll think twice about ever touching me again:
After a thorough scrubbing and rinsing, I dry them off and realize I must intend to wear them again after all that effort so I hesitantly put them back on--
Good as new...I guess?!
8 comments:
I was about to comment that your pictures were worth a thousand words... but after reading of your experience... I definately feel that that story is worthy of at least 10 vivid pictures!!! You have me picturing the whole thing! UGHHHHHHHH!!!
EWWWW YUCK! I think I would have left them there, personally. Yikes! But hey, a little soap and no one will ever know. Anyway, a little poop never hurt anyone. Which is why hospitals no longer administer routine enimas during labor. At least any decent hospital. But I digress. That is hilariously disgusting!
I don't think I'll have you watching Rae for me anytime soon ;)
That is hysterical. I would never leave $150 sunglasses in a pile of poop. But then, I'm a mom. I'm not scared of poop or puke anymore.
But ... I only dare buy $10 sunglasses at Target, too.
I can't believe you did it. And I can't believe you did it without throwing up!
I'm just trying to picture this and tell myself it actually happened! unbelievable :)
Lolly,
As discusting as it was, it is total proof that you have made the full transformation from young independent Lolly Girl to a REAL MOM! Something, only a mother could handle. You should ask Jenny what she would have done.
Love Ya, Mom. Also all the pictures are just so precious!!!!
too funny!!! you are awesome! Ixchelle
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