Turning 30 has been interesting. In some ways I feel like I've been planning a trip to Hawaii for 30 years, dreaming of the beauty and blissfulness of it all, saving all my money to get there, having traveled across the US to catch my flight, flying across the ocean for days and then upon my arrival discovering it's nothing like I expected but more like.......the Mojave Dessert (sorry Sandee). Being a mom is a much, much, much harder job than I ever imagined!! (I was much better at it before I had kids, dang it.) With trying to provide them w/ all the fun and enriching experiences I want them to have comes the reality that they have their own little developing personalities that sometimes get in the way of the "fun and enriching" along w/the incessant housework and meal preparation (a lifetime more of these two things seems absurd)--Oh, it can be such a challenge for a perfectionist such as myself. Of course there are many rewarding "moments" but there are so many other moments that feel much less than rewarding. I'm so thankful for my incredibly supportive and loving husband who gets me through those other moments and is always standing by to listen, encourage and cheer me on when I feel like the biggest loser. Anyway, I'm always striving to find the joy in each day instead of looking in the future because I have a funny suspicion that I'll look back one day and long for today. Life is funny that way.I think Gordon B. Hinkley said it well:
"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just ordinary people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey. . .delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."
Thanks Sue.
18 comments:
I know I feel this way sometimes too- you captured the feelings, the frustration perfectly in words!I also love that quote by President Hinckley! Thanks for sharing!
Cheryl. First off, as best I can tell, you are a geat mom. second, what a great quote by Hinckley. It is so true.
You are one of those people I always picture as perpetually sunny, happy, beautiful, etc. So forgive me for saying that I'm surprised and a little relieved to hear you say you EVER feel like 'the biggest loser'. You are such an amazing woman and full of wisdom. I miss basking in your glow. ;P And that quote is awesome. Nice to hear something so real from a prophet of God.
I could not believe it when I read your post, because I have been having the exact same feelings the last couple of days. I have been trying to focus on not doing the laundry and not cleaning the house and just enjoying the little moments with my kids. Easy to say, hard to do...
So True! I think you can be the worlds most amazing mom and still feel like you have failed. One thing I know so far--don't stress over the little things because that is all they are, and that our children will turn out just fine despite us as parents! So carry on, you are amazing and like Gordon says ENJOY THE RIDE! And you ARE doing great-give yourself a break!! That quote really is my favorite and keeps it all in perspective in this crazy world that is getting nuttier each day!
cheryl, happy happy birthday! i am so sad i missed you when you were in davis. i'll email you and see if we can plan something sometime.
I so relate to your post. Sometimes as I struggle through the mundune activities of motherhood I realize that I wouldn't want my life any other way and know that I will greatly miss these days some day. The things in life that require the most work and sacrifice also bring us the most joy and satisfaction. I also loved the quote. I hadn't ever heard that one but it is so refreshingly down to earth and real.
You hit it right on the mark! I also love reading Sister Hinckley's comments about motherhood... she tells of one of her grown sons reminscing about his childhood and turning to her and really thanking her for it, her reply "I'm glad somebody enjoyed it!" Realizing the joy is in the moment is the first step... you are so past that point!
Cheryl and Micah you two have always been two people I admire and look up to. Parenting is just one of those many life experiences you two have excelled in.
Ditto to all the above. Thanks for expressing what we moms feel in words that I myself cannot find. I can see that you are a fabulous mom though.
Cheryl & Micah,
You are such a great mom Cheryl, but if anyone can relate its me. I don't know if you have checked our blog, but Andy ruptured his achilles in two places! He is in bad shape, but is a doing much better since his surgery last week. He had to go back to work today. He will be on crutches 12 weeks! Anyways, we miss you and always wish we were closer . Kiley says hi to Jaden. I hope to talk soon. Love, Heather & Andy
Well said Cheryl. I laughed when you said you were a better parent before kids. I swear, I knew it ALL. Now, these different personalities and energy levels have thrown me for a loop. I just pray(literally) that even after ALL of my parental mistakes, my kids will know that I love them and that the Lord loves them. Then, I think they'll be okay. Oh, and three cheers for supportive husbands.
Great post Cheryl! I liked reading your email to your brother and also the quote from Pres. Hinckley. It's all so true. Those crayons look like a lot of fun, too! I'm wondering if you didn't secretly join in on the fun and just didn't post pictures of yourself on there! :)
Oh, Brian is really Laura.
this blog brought tears to my eyes, thanks for saying it for all of us.
your older sis, janie
Oh yes, the housework and meals... There are so many days when I wish we only had to eat once and that dishes magically cleaned themselves. I like talking with you because you have great (and healthy) snack and meal ideas. I think life can be discouraging when the hard work we put in feels endless or unappreciated and when we wish we could do other things. I definitely appreciate you! You set a high bar in your family and in the Primary which is wonderful. Take some time for yourself and shake things up a bit if you feel bored. You could try FLYlady's routine for housework or look up ideas for the family on FamilyFun.com. See you Sunday!
Wow, I read this post the day you wrote it and wanted to think about what to say before I commented. Seventeen comments later, I see that lots of good encouragement has already been sent...so I will just say that I love you and you are an amazing mother who does a fantastic job of raising my cute nephews!! Thank you for the hard work and effort you put into your mothering and also into being a great wife to Micah. You are the kind of person who inspires us all...so hang in there and know you are making a difference in huge ways. Everyday.
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