"You're Grounded!"

an account by micah:

I learned tonight that it may still be too early to start "grounding" Jaden; or at least to use words like that without a more precise definition . . .

After receiving a plate of cookies from a neighbor a few days ago, Beckam and I made Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies for all FOUR of our neighbors (that's right, there are only four neighbors on our cul-de-sac). While out delivering and visiting, Jaden and Beckam were slowly overcome with wildness. Nothing terrible, just not what we wanted our first impression to be.

For example, Jaden started playing the piano without asking first; He and Beckam were literally running crazy around another backyard; and Beckam began throwing fistfuls of little rocks from their gravel bed.

In re-telling it, it doesn't sound so bad, but it really was embarrassing. I suppose the impression they left must not have been too bad since both offered to watch the kids anytime and for them to come back to play whenever (or perhaps they were just being gracious).

So anyway, upon returning home I told them that their behavior was unacceptable and that if it happpened again they would be "grounded." I elaborated by explaining that the neighbor boy couldn't come over (which he has pretty much every day since we moved in), that he couldn't watch any movies or have any other privileges.

All of a sudden, he ran off to his bedroom, jumped under the covers (covering his head) crying great heaving sobs.

When I went in to talk to him, he managed to get out: "You said you'd ground me. You're not supposed to ground people unless they do really, really bad things like stealing." He wondered if being grounded meant that he would never ever be able to play with Daniel again for his whole life. He was sure if he were to be grounded it would kill him because he wouldn't be able to drink water and you die without drinking water.

I reassured him that being grounded doesn't mean you can't eat and drink, only that you lose fun privileges like watching movies or playing with friends.

His response: It would be impossible to drink water or eat if Iwas buried in the ground.----OHH, my poor little man! How could he possibly imagine that we would literally GROUND him as a means of disciplining!?

He had a preconceived notion of what grounding was, despite my best efforts to further elaborate on what "grounding" really is (kind of like a time-out that lasts all day). Then I even told him that he needn't worry about it because he wouldn't be grounded until he was older and that his good decisions would prevent him from getting grounded anyway.

He seemed okay and so I finished putting them to bed.

Shortly, I heard the sobs again so I went back in. He was STILL crying about the threat of being grounded. He said, "If I do it just one more time I'll be grounded - I don't even get any chances?" After discussing it a little more he asked:
"So do people that do really bad things like stealing get grounded and put in the ground?"

So the point is, be careful using terms that may have literal connotations to a five-year-old.