So people always tell me that as long as we channel Jaden's energy in a positive way, everything will be just fine.
(Papa Dave has said long ago, that he'll either be a genius or a criminal--if I write it small enough, hopefully Jaden's ears will NEVER hear that statement).
I know that sounds like a great idea but I always wonder what exactly that means and if I'll really know how to do it through all the stages of his life.
Yesterday, I had my first real lesson in understanding how NOT to channel his energy.
Since January, once a week the kindergarten classes have had singing time (and before that it was gymnastics, which was never a problem) in preparation for a performance that would be held yesterday.
Well, the last few weeks, singing time has been quite challenging for Jaden. He's had to sit out several times for being silly, disturbing kids around him and just not being cooperative.
We've talked and talked about what NICE singing behavior looks like to no avail and last week he was officially kicked out of the performance!
BUT he had one last chance to earn it back and that was under the condition that he was on his VERY best behavior for the last rehearsal on Tues. before the Wed. performance. Can you guess what the outcome was.....?
Well, he was NOT very well-behaved AND his teacher decided that he would still participate for the sheer fact that she thought he was TRYING to get out of it.
And he had to sign a contract indicating that he would be on his best behavior specifying exactly what his best behavior would look like.
The consequence for him breaking the contract would be a meeting with Mrs. Davis, the principal.
Did I mention that he's had play time, movie nights with friends and play dates taken away all because of this (along with a few other in-class issues). His SILLYNESS is what's getting him into trouble and then he doesn't take the warnings seriously.
He truly does not seem to make the connection between his behavior and the natural consequences that result even when he's forewarned.
Okay, so now you see what we've been dealing with and how frustrating it's been. Well yesterday was the performance.
It was just the kindergarten classes and they sang 5 songs, including the Hawaiian rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (in Hawaiian) and Sing A Song.
About half way through the show, I started laughing so hard I could hardly contain myself-- because it was at this point that I saw for myself what was going on and finally realized that THIS activity was just sheer TORTURE for my little boy. He WAS trying his VERY best but by the end he was a dissheveled mess--his hair was a wreck, his shirt was all stretched out and I was surprised his shorts stayed on from all the pulling and tugging he did on them. Only for a few songs did he get both the hand motions and the words going at the same time, otherwise it was one or the other but he was ADORABLE and did GREAT!
It was only a week ago that his teacher was finally convinced that he did in fact know the words to the songs. I'd been telling her that he knew them all because he sings them for me but she had no idea until one day when the music teacher asked a question and Jaden belted out the lyrics. She said all the teachers were astonished.
I noticed that during the show his eyes were constantly scanning the crowd. I thought he just kept losing sight of me because each time we made eye contact he'd give me a huge smile. But when he got home and was reporting on his performance to his dad he said this, "I was trying my VERY best...and she didn't even come." When Micah asked who didn't come, he replied, "Mrs. Davis--she wasn't even there." (the principal)
When I talked to his teacher afterward, she again told me that he just did not want to be there. It was nice to be able to tell her that that wasn't the case at all. He DID want to be there. He wanted me to see his performance but it's just HARD for him--standing still or at least in the same place for half an hour is just NOT easy or fun and it's certainly NOT a positive way to channel his energy.
I know now that signing him up for that summer musical workshop at the Art Center is probably not the best idea. The tennis camp that HE wants to do would probably be the better choice. at least for now.
and I am OK with that.
What is sad is when people like Jaden's T-ball coach say things like,
"This trophy goes to the player who never paid attention." the end.
Yeah, he may have some trouble staying focused in the outfield but his batting was awesome and improved tremendously over the season.
I mean look at this form:
And at least he moves during each play, which is preferable in baseball.
Of course I know positive ways to channel his energy or I'd never survive--letting him loose outside--to climb to the tippy top of trees, giving him a rope and allowing him to build rope swings or traps, taking him to the swimming pool, riding his bike at top speed around "the circle," digging in the dirt for treasures or constructing the contraption on the board game Mouse Trap all by himself his first try--his focus and ability are far superior to mine even with the instructions in hand. it's astounding. budding engineer?
And I'll continue to take it as a compliment if you ever tell me that Jaden finds things at your house to "play" with that your kids have never even thought twice about!
(Papa Dave has said long ago, that he'll either be a genius or a criminal--if I write it small enough, hopefully Jaden's ears will NEVER hear that statement).
I know that sounds like a great idea but I always wonder what exactly that means and if I'll really know how to do it through all the stages of his life.
Yesterday, I had my first real lesson in understanding how NOT to channel his energy.
Since January, once a week the kindergarten classes have had singing time (and before that it was gymnastics, which was never a problem) in preparation for a performance that would be held yesterday.
Well, the last few weeks, singing time has been quite challenging for Jaden. He's had to sit out several times for being silly, disturbing kids around him and just not being cooperative.
We've talked and talked about what NICE singing behavior looks like to no avail and last week he was officially kicked out of the performance!
BUT he had one last chance to earn it back and that was under the condition that he was on his VERY best behavior for the last rehearsal on Tues. before the Wed. performance. Can you guess what the outcome was.....?
Well, he was NOT very well-behaved AND his teacher decided that he would still participate for the sheer fact that she thought he was TRYING to get out of it.
And he had to sign a contract indicating that he would be on his best behavior specifying exactly what his best behavior would look like.
The consequence for him breaking the contract would be a meeting with Mrs. Davis, the principal.
Did I mention that he's had play time, movie nights with friends and play dates taken away all because of this (along with a few other in-class issues). His SILLYNESS is what's getting him into trouble and then he doesn't take the warnings seriously.
He truly does not seem to make the connection between his behavior and the natural consequences that result even when he's forewarned.
Okay, so now you see what we've been dealing with and how frustrating it's been. Well yesterday was the performance.
It was just the kindergarten classes and they sang 5 songs, including the Hawaiian rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (in Hawaiian) and Sing A Song.
About half way through the show, I started laughing so hard I could hardly contain myself-- because it was at this point that I saw for myself what was going on and finally realized that THIS activity was just sheer TORTURE for my little boy. He WAS trying his VERY best but by the end he was a dissheveled mess--his hair was a wreck, his shirt was all stretched out and I was surprised his shorts stayed on from all the pulling and tugging he did on them. Only for a few songs did he get both the hand motions and the words going at the same time, otherwise it was one or the other but he was ADORABLE and did GREAT!
It was only a week ago that his teacher was finally convinced that he did in fact know the words to the songs. I'd been telling her that he knew them all because he sings them for me but she had no idea until one day when the music teacher asked a question and Jaden belted out the lyrics. She said all the teachers were astonished.
I noticed that during the show his eyes were constantly scanning the crowd. I thought he just kept losing sight of me because each time we made eye contact he'd give me a huge smile. But when he got home and was reporting on his performance to his dad he said this, "I was trying my VERY best...and she didn't even come." When Micah asked who didn't come, he replied, "Mrs. Davis--she wasn't even there." (the principal)
When I talked to his teacher afterward, she again told me that he just did not want to be there. It was nice to be able to tell her that that wasn't the case at all. He DID want to be there. He wanted me to see his performance but it's just HARD for him--standing still or at least in the same place for half an hour is just NOT easy or fun and it's certainly NOT a positive way to channel his energy.
I know now that signing him up for that summer musical workshop at the Art Center is probably not the best idea. The tennis camp that HE wants to do would probably be the better choice. at least for now.
and I am OK with that.
What is sad is when people like Jaden's T-ball coach say things like,
"This trophy goes to the player who never paid attention." the end.
Yeah, he may have some trouble staying focused in the outfield but his batting was awesome and improved tremendously over the season.
I mean look at this form:
And at least he moves during each play, which is preferable in baseball.
Of course I know positive ways to channel his energy or I'd never survive--letting him loose outside--to climb to the tippy top of trees, giving him a rope and allowing him to build rope swings or traps, taking him to the swimming pool, riding his bike at top speed around "the circle," digging in the dirt for treasures or constructing the contraption on the board game Mouse Trap all by himself his first try--his focus and ability are far superior to mine even with the instructions in hand. it's astounding. budding engineer?
And I'll continue to take it as a compliment if you ever tell me that Jaden finds things at your house to "play" with that your kids have never even thought twice about!
